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of wisdom, in thy youth obtain'd,
An act so rash, Antilochus! has stain'd.
Robb'd of my glory and my just reward,
To you, O Grecians! be my wrong declared:
So not a leader shall our conduct blame,
Or judge me envious of a rival's fame.
But shall not we, ourselves, the truth maintain?
What needs appealing in a fact so plain?
What Greek shall blame me, if I bid thee rise,
And vindicate by oath th' ill-gotten prize?
Rise if thou darest, before thy chariot stand,
The driving s
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in London?”
“Well, he does. Where _would_ he live?”
“But I thought _you_ lived in Sheffield?”
I see I was up a stump. I had to let on to get choked with a chicken
bone, so as to get time to think how to get down again. Then I says:
“I mean he goes to our church regular when he's in Sheffield. That's
only in the summer time, when he comes there to take the sea baths.”
“Why, how you talk--Sheffield ain't on the sea.”
“Well, who said it was?”
“Why, you did.”
“I _didn't_ nuther.”
“You did!”
“I didn't.”
“You did.”
“I never said nothing of the kind.”
“Well, what _did_ you say, then?”
“Said he come to take the sea _baths_--that's what I said.”
“Well, then, how's he going to take the sea baths if it ain't on the
sea?”
“Looky here,” I says; “did you ever see any Congress-water?”
“Yes.”
“Well, did you have to go to Congress to get it?”
“Why, no.”
“Well, neither does William Fourth have to go to the sea to get a sea
bath.”
“How does he get it, then?”
“Gets it the way people down here gets Congress-water--in barrels. There
in the palace at Sheffield they've got furnaces, and he wants his water
hot. They can't bile that amount of water away off there at the sea.
They haven't got no conveniences for it.”
“Oh, I see, now. You might a said that in the first place and saved
time.”
When she said that I see I was out of the woods again, and so I was
comfortable and glad. Next, she says:
“Do you go to church, too?”
“Yes--regular.”
“Where do you set?”
“Why, in our pew.”
“_Whose_ pew?”
“Why, _ourn_--your Uncle Harvey's.”
“His'n? What does _he_ want with a pew?”
“Wants it to set in. What did you _reckon_ he wanted with it?”
“Why, I thought he'd be in the pulpit.”
Rot him, I forgot he was a preacher. I see I was up a stump again, so I
played another chicken bone and got another think. Then I says:
“Blame it, do you suppose there ain't but one preacher to a church?”
“Why, what do they want with more?”
“What!--to preach before a king? I neve